Story #2 LEADER, HOW HARD IT COULD BE?

I remembered once, my sister told me that if she could not be a good leader, she will be a good follower. Now, the perception changed. Our ways of thinking also changed. The integrity, honesty, passion and professionalism of a leader being doubted by us, the one who knows nothing more than following the orders. Malaysians are educate to follow loads of thing (trust me, I am a future teacher) and I am one of them. We are guided to do what we were asked to do. The terms 'Kami Yang Menurut Perintah'- 'We do as ordered' is a familiar phrase for a teacher ( I should stop talking about this now as I was forbidden to cross the limitation as a future Malaysian teacher and please forgive me). 

Once, I was a leader. I would not say that I was a good leader because I was not. There were so many things happened and believe me, I suffered a lot during my time as a leader (acted like I was holding the highest position in the world...). I was one of the Student Representative Council members in my Teachers Training Center. My position was as the vice secretary but I acted as I was the Vice President (just joking!). Those who used to be in the organization went through the same painful journey as I did. 

At the early stage, we stereotyped first. "OMG!!! I can't work together with them!" "This is so not happening!" "I am better than YOU!". Only then, we will try to adopt and adapt. You see, we often take the first step wrongly. We're judging, stereotyping and other synonyms for this word (find it yourself, please). We, as a human often giving punishment before giving chance and letting other people to prove themselves first. They have no chance or even worst, they feel like they have no chance at all. 

Being a leader is hard, being a follower even harder. I do not believe this at first until I faced the situation by myself. 

When you have no power, the right for you to speak, split and throw the ideas is no longer yours. Your job is just to follow what you're asked to do. FULL STOP! That's the reality in today's life. 

However, there's one thing that affected me for the whole life starting by being a leader. BRAVERY! 

I always try my best to relate everything happened positively (because I have no other option...LOL). Without that feeling and action called bravery, I don't think that I could be the new Adila ( positive one, of course!) 

For me, to measure the level of my leadership, I should look from the angle of how I lead myself towards the meaningful life. Me, myself as a leader who directed my own journey of life. I may not be the Prime Minister nor The Vice Prime Minister but I am a human who have right to choose my own happiness. To be free from tied up with rules and orders ( that are not applicable in some situations). To be free from thinking about what other people think about me. To be free TO BE ME. 

It does not matter if you are a leader or a follower. You are still a leader. A leader for yourself. A leader for your own life. 

How hard it could be to be a leader? I would say, it is really hard. We are human. Our life is upside down and it depends on our bravery to make sure our journey did not stop. 

Be a good leader!

(I am so sleepy right now)

Story #1 SHOES

After so many times creating more than one account for my blog, I decided to start writing (I mean really start writing). So, the topic that I chose to write about for my first entry, entitled SHOES. I had a serious, deep conversation with my friends (tell me when I'm not) about the different ways of life that we chose. Well, different people have different personality. Lesson number 1 that I've learnt from my 23 years of my beautiful and painful life. I do not know why, but people always have a problem in making the discussion become relax and leisure when they started the conversation with me ( trust me, I don't even know why!). I was so impressed with one and only friend who could blend in my conversation ( this is because, there are so many people felt annoyed with me: as mentioned by Hassan Basri). Her name is Safiah. We know each other but we are not that close, at first. She is not in my BFFFFF list (not anymore, Safi!). She started to introduce about the types of personality that a human have in them (Choleric, Melancholy, Phlegmatic and Sanguine).

According to her, I am a Choleric type of person. My trademark is, IT IS EITHER MY WAY OR NO WAY. Well, I could not deny that since it happens almost all the time and I don't blame myself for that. So, Why is it so important for me to tell you about the personality and what's the connection between it and my title for this entry? 

Since I've started to learn and almost master in knowing other people's personality through the observation, I could understand them more. It feels like putting myself in their shoes (okay we are getting closer to the title!). Safiah knows me well. I mean she saw me during my worst in the past and the new-born me. I know how it feels like not to be understood by other people. It hurts. However, the wound heals even though it may leaves the scar/s. You would not feel the pain if you could understand the meaning of life. Have you heard this phrase before?: To be understood by other people, you first, must understand the people. Well, you can't expect people to understand you. They are not living in the same life as yours. 

Take the shoes as an example. We have different types of shoes that categorized differently. Leather, flat, heels, ballet and etc. We also have different sizes of shoes. Some may be small. Some may be medium or large. We could not fit into the other people's shoes if we have different size than theirs. Even if we have the same size, the feeling, the level of comfortableness will not reach your perception. 

 As in life. we have different ways of fulfilling our life. Our backgrounds may be differ from the others. Even though we have the same story, the plot will still never be the same. My chapter one of life will never be the same as yours. The script is totally different. Our job is not to change the script. Let it be. We just need to read and understand other people's script so that we would not not make early judgment and give them punishment for our misunderstanding about their life. Try to put yourself in their situation. If you could understand, that would be great! You could help them. If not, keep reading until you understand. 

How could you know the ending without knowing how it starts, at first?