Wednesday 12 October 2016

Story #2 LEADER, HOW HARD IT COULD BE?

I remembered once, my sister told me that if she could not be a good leader, she will be a good follower. Now, the perception changed. Our ways of thinking also changed. The integrity, honesty, passion and professionalism of a leader being doubted by us, the one who knows nothing more than following the orders. Malaysians are educate to follow loads of thing (trust me, I am a future teacher) and I am one of them. We are guided to do what we were asked to do. The terms 'Kami Yang Menurut Perintah'- 'We do as ordered' is a familiar phrase for a teacher ( I should stop talking about this now as I was forbidden to cross the limitation as a future Malaysian teacher and please forgive me). 

Once, I was a leader. I would not say that I was a good leader because I was not. There were so many things happened and believe me, I suffered a lot during my time as a leader (acted like I was holding the highest position in the world...). I was one of the Student Representative Council members in my Teachers Training Center. My position was as the vice secretary but I acted as I was the Vice President (just joking!). Those who used to be in the organization went through the same painful journey as I did. 

At the early stage, we stereotyped first. "OMG!!! I can't work together with them!" "This is so not happening!" "I am better than YOU!". Only then, we will try to adopt and adapt. You see, we often take the first step wrongly. We're judging, stereotyping and other synonyms for this word (find it yourself, please). We, as a human often giving punishment before giving chance and letting other people to prove themselves first. They have no chance or even worst, they feel like they have no chance at all. 

Being a leader is hard, being a follower even harder. I do not believe this at first until I faced the situation by myself. 

When you have no power, the right for you to speak, split and throw the ideas is no longer yours. Your job is just to follow what you're asked to do. FULL STOP! That's the reality in today's life. 

However, there's one thing that affected me for the whole life starting by being a leader. BRAVERY! 
I always try my best to relate everything happened positively (because I have no other option...LOL). Without that feeling and action called bravery, I don't think that I could be the new Adila ( positive one, of course!) 

For me, to measure the level of my leadership, I should look from the angle of how I lead myself towards the meaningful life. Me, myself as a leader who directed my own journey of life. I may not be the Prime Minister nor The Vice Prime Minister but I am a human who have right to choose my own happiness. To be free from tied up with rules and orders ( that are not applicable in some situations). To be free from thinking about what other people think about me. To be free TO BE ME. 

It does not matter if you are a leader or a follower. You are still a leader. A leader for yourself. A leader for your own life. 

How hard it could be to be a leader? I would say, it is really hard. We are human. Our life is upside down and it depends on our bravery to make sure our journey did not stop. 

Be a good leader!

(I am so sleepy right now)

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